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photo: Willowpix/iStock
text treatment: Greg Chow
Good fences make good neighbors, wrote the poet Robert Frost. But sometimes even fences don’t keep the dogs out. And sometimes neighbors are so mad about marauding dogs that they forcefully ask their next-door neighbors to keep their beasts inside until 9 a.m. And when that doesn’t work, they call animal control, who hand out a $121 ticket, thereby escalating a dispute into an all-out war.
So what’s a dog-owning neighbor to do? Maybe erect a sign in his yard proclaiming, “House for sale by owner because my neighbor’s a douchebag!”
That’s what happened in Farmers Branch, TX, a suburb of Dallas, writes the Houston Chronicle. A couple rented a house next to James and Lisa Price and quickly set about complaining about the Prices’ pups.

Please, Mr. r

“Shortly after a retired couple moved into the rental house next door about two years ago, Price said the wife came over ‘a few times’ to ask that the Prices keep their four dogs inside the house until 9 a.m. because the retirees liked to sleep late,” writes the Chronicle.
The Prices say they tried to keep them in until 8 (when a dog’s gotta go, a dog’s gotta go), even though they say the city says they can let them out at 7.
No word on if they’ve had any offers on their house, or if the neighbors have erected signs of their own, but, should such an unfortunate situation happen to you, we thought we’d give you a few sign ideas of your own.
“House for sale because neighbor mows lawn every single hour of the weekend.”
“House for sale. Comes with next-door neighbors who blast ABBA until 3 in the morning.”
“House for sale because neighbors air out their family disputes at extremely high decibels—every night.”
“House for sale. Neighbor’s McMansion destroyed our views.”
“House for sale because next-door neighbor is a hoarder and his house smells like a sewage plant.”